The Commandments

1. The one true American-made motorcycle is the Harley-Davidson, and thou shalt put no other motorcycles before it.
2. Thou shalt not bow down and worship nor serve the god of chrome; for, lo, he is a false god and will not get thy butt home.
3. Honor thy authorized dealer and thy hog chapter officers, that thy days may be long and fruitful in the land of Harley.
4. Remember the weekend, and keep it open. for it is written, five days shalt thou labor, and for two days shalt thou ride thy Harley, drink beer, and fuck off.
5. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s Harley, nor her manservant, nor her maidservant, nor her ox, nor her cute little ass.
6. From the throne of thine Harley, thou shalt not stoop to wave at sinners who ride jap-crap, for jap-crap is known to be the handiwork of the devil.
7. Thou shalt not pass by nor turn away from thy brother Harley rider who is in mechanical distress.
8. Thou shalt not pose. verily, i say unto you, it is easier for a poser to pass his gold visa card through the eye of a needle than to enter into the true fellowship of Harley-Davidson heaven.
9. When riding thy Harley on the road of life, thou shalt not whine nor snivel, and thou shalt not suffer to ride alongside those who do.
10. Park not thy Harley in the darkness of thine garage, that it may collect dust for want of being often ridden, ride thy Harley with thy brethren, and rejoice in the spirit of the road.

As devoted as I am to my hog, I don’t really agree with all of these…. It’s a little to hardcore Harley. Since I’m no bike bigot, I propose a revised version:

My Commandments

1. Love thy motorcycle as thyself and put no other motorcycles before it.
2. Bow down and worship the god of safe riding; for, lo, he is powerful and will a get thy butt home to ride another day.
3. Honor thy companions and fellow riders, that thy days may be long and fruitful in the land of twisty roads.
4. Remember the weekend, and keep it open. for it is written, five days shalt thou labor, and for two days shalt thou ride, drink beer, and fuck off.
5. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s motorcycle, nor her manservant, nor her maidservant, nor her ox, nor her cute little ass.
6. From the throne of thine bike, thou shalt extend props to all other riders in the form of a wave – down low.  All other gestures are known to be the handiwork of the devil.
7. Thou shalt not pass by nor turn away from thy brother rider who is in mechanical distress.
8. Thou shalt not pose. Verily, i say unto you, it is love of the ride that makes us bikers and allows us to enter into the true fellowship of highway heaven.
9. When riding the road of life, thou shalt not whine nor snivel, and thou shalt not suffer to ride alongside those who do.
10. Park not thy motorcycle in the darkness of thine garage, that it may collect dust for want of being often ridden. Ride with thy brethren, and rejoice in the spirit of the road.

Cheers

Let’s not forget the 11th commandment that the Driftless Riders recognize:  Thou shalt not pass up offerings of cold beer, fresh doughnuts, corn on the cob, and/or full frontal nudity.

CHEERS!