Drivin’ down your freeways, midnight alleys roam, cops in cars…. here’s a list of “topless bars” to help you find a woman, so alone, so alone… courtesy of the Driftless Riders.

King of Diamonds Gentlemen’s
6600 River Rd Inver Grove Heights, MN 55076
(651) 455-3886

Cajun Club
1400 Main St Houlton, WI 54082
(715) 549-6901

Border Lounge
N1620 County Road VV Hager City, WI 54014
(715) 792-2660

Fat Jack’s Caberet

4 Mile Gentlemen’s Club

Cruisin Chubby’s

Sugar Daddys
500 66th St NW Sauk Rapids, MN 56379
(320) 529-9100

Sugar Daddy’s
1318 Highway 45 Cloquet, MN 55720
(218) 879-8668

Wisconsin Dolls Gentlemen’s Club
4179 State Road 13 Wisconsin Dells, WI 53965
(608) 254-8708

Loch Ness Lounge
32nd?

Class Act
32115 64th Ave Cannon Falls, MN 55009
(507) 263-5115

Mettler’s Bar & Restaurant
117 S Front St Mankato, MN 56001
(507) 388-6885

Phipps Tavern
11905 N Phipps Rd Hayward, WI 54843
(715) 634-8811

Garden of Eden Gentlemans Club
688 Meeker Ave E Eden Valley, MN 55329
(320) 453-7080

Showtime Gentlemen’s Club
1709 Merrill Ave Wausau, WI 54401
(715) 675-9933

Pin-Ups Gentlemen’s Club
812 1/2 4th Avenue South Park Falls, WI 54552
(715) 744-1156

Barons Gentlemens Club
3986 State

Temptations Gentlemens Club
132 2nd Ave S Wisconsin Rapids, WI 54495
(715) 423-0220

Northern Exposure Gentlemens Club
N11104 Us Highway 45 Birnamwood, WI 54414
(715) 449-2793

New Yorker Gentlemen’s Club
1896 Old Highway 51 Mosinee, WI 54455
(715) 693-2777

Foxtail Gentlemen’s Club
N4305 16th Rd Montello, WI 53949
(608) 297-7011

Screamin Mee Mee’s
402 W Delavan Dr Janesville, WI 53546
(608) 373-0189

Body Shop
140 2nd St N Wisconsin Rapids, WI 54494
(715) 424-1810

Placemark 24
Silver Street, et al

If you have a addition, send the location and information to info@driftlessriders.com

Harley Davidson Ride Planner Interface

Harley Davidson recently launched a new ride planning website. The idea is that you can input locations and waypoints and it will chart a course for you. There are also extended features that allow you to find good roads, Harley dealerships, hotels, events, and fuel stops. There even 105th anniversary routes preset for out of town’rs headed to the big show.

Check it out at: http://www.harley-davidson.com/rideplanner

The concept is just what I’ve been looking for – but upon review I’ve discovered that there are a few pieces of the puzzle that are still missing.

The core component of the site works alot like Google maps. It’s easy to pan around the world and look for roads – both user generated and Harley approved “Great Roads”. You can input address data or right click on the map to create way points that join together to plan a personalized “My Ride”.

One of the best features that I found was it has the ability to join roads to “My Ride”… so for example you can simply plan a route from one city to another and then view the nearby “great roads” and if it looks like this road is worth a detour, you can add it to “My Ride”. The site will recalculate all the associated information.

Sharing your saved rides or routes is possible via the website by using an email input form. Unfortunately I didn’t see any ability to link directly to a route or embed your saved maps into a webpage or blog.

The biggest disappointment is the events functionality. I was hoping for a map that displayed events and rallies by location and date, but the events listed are limited to Dealer events, Harley-Davidson Motor Co. events, and H.O.G. events. So don’t expect to find the defrost yer nutz run or the dam saloon bikini contest listed on this site.

The hotel listings show only Best Westerns. Fine for some. Not acceptable for those of us who seek out the classic small town motels.

I didn’t see any indication that the website is available on mobile devices, which is key for us riders, but it does have import and export functionality for GPS systems in a .gpx format. (Haven’t tested that yet)

Summary:
The Harley Davidson Ride Planner could be used a good resource if you’re route takes you into unchartered territories and you want to rely on route suggestions from those who have gone before you. I like that this website has the potential to harness user input and opinions, but unfortunately its not the end all solution for rider information. Perhaps it will evolve to meet my expectations.

Side note:
In the future I expect some type of low jack system installed on all Harleys allowing the brethren to see, in real-time, a map of where everyone’s riding. Without crossing the “invasion of privacy” boundaries I’d like to be able to see where my friends are at, catch up with a rally that I don’t have a map to, or just watch the convergence on Sturgis. Who’s with me?

Get’n out of Dodge
If you’re like a Driftless Rider, you’re likely headed out of the Twin Cities metro area as soon as you start your engine. The map above shows some of the routes and stops that we like that are all reachable within a hour or so.

First of all, let’s talk about getting out of the Twin Cities. Of course there’s all four directions you can head, but we’re the Driftless Riders and that means we usually head east to the St. Croix & Mississippi River valley. So east-wise… our most widely used route takes us down to Newport and then east on Glen Road or 70th Street South. If you keep going you’ll eventually get you to the St. Croix Trail, a great road, north or south along the Minnesota side of the St. Croix River.

We prefer this route out of the Twin Cities because it’s the quickest way to get clear of heavy traffic and start enjoying the countryside. It also leaves you poised to take a short scenic ride to either of the nearby river crossings – north to Hastings or south to Prescott.

The loop
My quick ride “loop” starts with the get’n out of Dodge path mentioned above. From there I jet to Hastings, WI. Sometimes I take the St. Croix trail north and other times I add a little extension by going down to Prescott and then taking the Wisconsin side up.

After a quick stop at Dick’s in Hastings, I continue north to Stillwater. If you take highway 35 it’s only a few miles, so to make it a little more interesting I like to go through Burkhardt on County A before venturing back to Minnesota.

A couple other notable routes
I’ve added a couple routes that deserve to be included becuase they’re in the proximity and they’re kick-ass roads. And by kick-ass I mean scenic, twisty, and deep in the river bluffs.

County Road O: This road is like what you see in motorcycle postcards (not sure if these exist, but they should). There are twists, dips, curves, nips?, single vehicle bridges… the works. There are trees hanging over one side and a brooke wandering down the other. It connects 35 to highway 10.

County 7 Blvd: If you’re ever going down 61 in or out of Redwing, there’s no reason not to take this little detour… you won’t regret it. The 90 degree curves lead you down in the valley, past Welch (ski) Village, and back out.

Bars:
The map also labels a few of our favorite watering holes. Some of these are pretty well known in the biker community, but there’s a couple that you might not have heard of, so if you’re looking for a destination maybe….

The Cave Bar – Its located in Hersey, WI, which isn’t much more than a wide spot in the road, but its worth a stop because of the friendly people, cold drinks, and it’s decor. As you might guess, its cave-ish. http://www.herseycavebar.com

Neumann’s Bar – Its located in North St. Paul, just off highway 36. Its been serving the thirsty since 1887. Every Thursday there’s a ride – be there at 6pm – leave at 6:30pm. Any rider that returns receives a coupon for a “buy one get one free” beverage. http://neumannsbar.com

Willow River Saloon – Located in Burkhardt, WI, it’s a big bar for such a small town. The word “saloon” really describes the atmosphere.

See ya’ll there….

I love the Flood Run. Here’s the quick 101: There’s two Flood Run’s. One in the spring and one in the fall. It starts at the Beach Club Bar right outside Afton, MN. From there it meanders down the river road, on the Wisconsin side between Prescott and Nelson, then on the Minnesota side from Wabasha down to Minnieska. It’s one of the largest local motorcycle rallies. Its thousands of bikers. Its kick-ass.

Here’s how the Driftless Riders do it:

Well, well, well…what can I say but…. my guts hurt, my ass is sore, I did throw up once, and my head is still ringing, but what the hell…it was all worth it! All hail the Flood Run. http://www.floodrun.org/ Guess there’s no where to start except the beginning:

7:00 a.m. Awake to overcast and 45 degrees (Its going to be a rough day)…Place Egg Bake in oven.

8:30 a.m. Driftless Riders arrive at St. Paul Headquarters, weather still shitty and cold, after some counsel we all decide to put on chaps and long underwear for the day.

9:15 a.m. After some good egg bake, links, toast and bloodies, bust out of town on I-94 to St. Croix Trail to The Beach Club, the official start of the Flood Run.

Beach Club Line Up

9:45 a.m. Arrive at the Beach Club just in time for the line-up…check out the pics. Now the actual run was scheduled to leave at 10:30 a.m. but the Driftless Riders got a little antsy and decided to get ahead of the group. This usually wouldn’t be the case, but we had a little wrinkle this year. It seems that one of the Driftless Riders, who will remain unamed (Chopper) has a wedding coming up shortly, and he agreed to his lovely fiancee to be back in Minneapolis by 1:30 p.m for the wedding shower…while he took some good natured ribbing about this, we all thought it best that we ride south to Prescott to take in the No Name Saloon… gotta love the Monkey Bar (it’s open air annex).

Streets of Prescott

10:00 a.m. I think it actually got colder and wetter riding to Prescott, and we all were pretty happy to roll into town, things were just starting to build-up…check out the pics.

The Nauti Hawg Bar and Grill

10:45 a.m. Roll-out to Diamond Bluff… Now this is where things started getting a little bit interesting, because unlike other years, there was a mechanical bull present. After a whiskey coke, low and behold, the bachelor of the day rode that mutha.

High Noon: On to an unsanctioned stop at the Boder Lounge in Hager City, Wisc… You all can fill in the blanks, but the highlights are the pork fat sandwiches and the scenery.

Let’s not forget Maiden Rock… we did stop here, too.

1:30 p.m. After the bachelor peeled off, the two remaining cowboys were left to plot the rest of the day’s devilish dealings… we did not fail… Usually our route would have us making a stop in Nelson, Wisc. This time, we decided to forgo this stoppage and head straight to Buck’s Bar in Minneska, Minn.

The view from Bucks Bar

2:30 p.m. We’ve reached the last official stop on the run. Buck’s (Bar) patio offers a great view of the river valley. This (with a cold beer) was a perfect cap to the Spring 08 Flood Run. We were ahead of the crowd, so we grabbed a picinic table, relaxed and watched the waves of bikes roll in. In the midst of all of this a unique event unfolded: There was some negotiating and I think that a hat was exchanged… long story short… we now have a photo of the Driftless Riders stickers being used as pasties. All in the name of advertising.

Driftless Riders stickers being used as pasties.

4:00 p.m. After the fun at Buck’s, we cruised down to Winona, fueled up, and headed across the river to the infamous Four Mile…This is a great place, good drinks, and a great place to layover, especially on a shitty weather day as this one.

????? p.m. Headed out of Four Mile to the Jailhouse Saloon… Full of bikers, cold beer and good burgers. www.jailhousesaloon.com/

Super-human Strength

9-ish Started getting dark, so we needed to hang our spurs up in the river town of Trempealeau, Wisc. There’s alot I can say but here are the highlights:

1. stopped at the historic and haunted Trempeauleau Hotel Bar (you can stay here, even though it used to be a hospital, or you can get a room down by the Marina…we chose the later)
2. got lost trying to find our over-night accomidations, talked to drunken fisherman who hadn’t ever heard of the lodging we were looking for,
3. found the Kingfisher (our room) less than 100 yards from the drunken fisherman;
4. walked a mile back to town to take in the two local bars;
5. witnessed a bad heavy metal band, talked to crazy local girls, and witnessed a hometown barfight;
6. went to Vet’s and met local girls who were gracious enough to take pictures of their cleavage;
7. ate a twice warmed pizza;
8. walked a mile drunk off my ass through a marina;
9. somehow made it back and fell asleep;
10. woke up at sometime in the morning and expelled the twice warmed pizza.

Trempealeau Cleavage

The Next Day: We felt shitty as expected, but what the hell, take a shower, suck it up, and get back on the horse and put her into the wind.

We managed to get our groggy selves to Centerville and Beedles Bar for brunch…Great place, good food, biker friendly, and nice folk. http://www.beedlesbar.com/

After eating we pretty much pointed ourselves home…we headed up Highway 35 to Nelson, jumped across the river to Highway 61 and then onto Highway 52 back into St. Paul.

Another awesome and memorable Flood Run.

Cheers!

All the county roads are pretty right on as you wind your way up and down through the valleys that are held down by generation old dairy farms and very small towns (Note: These people are working hard for a living, so these aren’t speed routes, take it easy and keep your eyes open for farm implements and trucks on the roads).

Your options for routes in this area are endless, but we usually make a ride east into the country and work our way back to the river…especially awesome roads are around the small village of Montana (roads C, CC, X and XX).

I might also mention that a great little town to hang it up for the night is Buffalo City, which is located on the Mississippi River backwaters…lodging can be tricky, but I recomend the Viking Hotel (you can’t miss it because there’s a huge Viking in the front of it).

Following is link to a nice road map: http://www.buffalocounty.com/Maps/travel%20map.pdf

Day One–St. Paul to Prairie du Chien

Hwy 52 to County Road 60 (near Zumbrota), very cool twistys as you wind your way east to Hwy 61. There some different routes you can take, but they’re all good, and a lot of small towns if you get thirsty and need to stop in for a brew.

Bust ass down Hwy 61 and jump the river at LaCrosse to Hwy 35 (this a critical point as you need to stay or go). There was a bit of an allure to stay in LaCrosse as its just a kick ass place to party, but it was good that we escaped, as the ride down to Prairie du Chien with the sun is setting is spectacular. The ride from LaCrosse to Prairie is when you first get the experience of being really close to the river and you have some kickass views as your cruisin.

(Note: If you want to stay in LaCrosse the first night, you may want to jump the river over to Wisconsin earlier in the day. The ride from Prescott to LaCrosse (Wisconsin side) is much cooler and laid back, along with some nice stops)

“Prairie” is a great town to stay in, friendly people, lots of small bars, but lodging can be a bit tricky, be sure to call ahead to get a room, as the town tends to be busy in the summer.

We ended up staying at a small shithole, but who cares, it was within walking distance of downtown bars. We ended up hitting a great old lounge restaurant, frequented some small dive bars, and then found some locals to drive us down to this bar down by the river to sing drunken karoke. Quote of the night…”Do you have any jumper cables? Oh, I meant to say do you have any weed?”

Day #2–Praire du Chien to Moline

A night in Prairie might leave you a little groggy in the morning, but you just need to buck up, climb on the horse and get some fresh air in those lungs.

We headed out bout 9 am and cruised out on Hwy 18. Your gonna want to get off on County Road C and get yourself closer into the river, there’s some options here, but we went to County X to the City of Bagley to County A, to County W (the object here obviously is to work your way close to the river, but it can get tricky at times).

Get yourself to Cassville and then jump on 133, and head to Potosi.

We recommend a stop to grab a burger at the local bar across from the town brewery. Don’t forget to have yourself a Potosi beer.

Next you’ll have a deparature from the river as you jump on Hwy 61 and get some highway time in down to Dickeyville, and its all highway to the Illinois border, where you’re gonna want to get on Hwy 35, and then to Hwy 20.

Editorial note, this section of the ride kind of sucks, as you’re on Highway to Galena and then aren’t a lot of options, but trust me, things do get better.

After Galena, look for the Blackjack Trail and jump off on that and slow it down for a while and enjoy the ride. Your gonna come out on Hwy 84. Unfortunately, once again your gonna have some boring highway time as you work your way down to Savanna, Fulton.

A highly recommended stop in the Iron Horse Social Club in Savanna, good food, cold beer and a motorcycle museum. http://www.ironhorsesocialclub.com/main.html

Things get a bit better south of Fulton as you find the river and quite few small towns along the way where you can stop in and have refreshments.

We ended up staying in Moline that night, but I have to admit that there is not a lot of nightlife in this town. Guess what I’m trying to say is you might be better off staying in some small towns outside of the city, and save yourself a few bucks.

But if you do want to have some comfort, there is a Radisson next to the John Deere Headquarters. The comfort is a little pricy, but there are plenty of bars within walking distance.

If all that riding has made you want to see some boobs, we found a club over in Davenport called the Chorus Line, decent place, but a little tricky to find http://www.stripclublist.com/c.asp?c=8000

Day #3–Moline to Canton Ferry (yes it really is a river ferry) and Back (Big Boy Day)

We behaved ourselves the night before and got some good shut eye because we knew today was going to be a “big boy” day, lots of white knuckle miles.

Bust ass out of town on Hwy 92 cursing the Quad Cities and try to find yourself some country. This is divided highway so if your looking for a speed stretch, this is it.

Things brighten up around Andalusia as you find yourself getting back to the river roads. Your gonna want to get off on County Road TT and head through the Loud Thunder Forest Preserve. This is a real nice ride, some twistys and good scenery as you’re making your way to Illinois City, and back on Hwy 92.

Take 92 and get of on County A, which turns into 14 and then 17 (lots of corn fields). Look for the turnoff to Keithsburg on 76th street. This is how you get back closer to the river, and you’ll follow 25 and then 3, and work your way to 34. This stretch is mostly corn fields. Enjoy.

We cruised down to Fort Madison and jumped the river to look for some lunch. We decided to try one of the river boat casinos. Note to self: don’t eat at these places, they’re rotten, find yourself a restaurant in town. There’s also little bar in Niota if you want to get yourself a beer and a bag of chips.

Then go south and down to 92, very cool stretch along the river, as you work your way to Keokuk. Out of Keokuk, find 12.

Once again, a lot of corn fields and the empty roads. Its somewhat cool as you get into levee country and the flood plain.

This is where it gets a bit tricky, but a major highlight… turn off on 2600th avenue and head to the river through corn fields to find the ferry to and cross the river. (there should be a sign that cleverly says “to ferry”)

You’ll think your lost, but just keep going and go past a huge grain elevator, and there you will find the cargo ferry. This is usually to take grain trucks across the river, but they will also acommodate motorcycles. I think its was $8 bucks a person, but very cool. Can’t say that I’ve ever had my bike on the water before.

I’m not gonna lie, the rest of ride back to Moline on the Missouri side is not cool, but you just need to suck it up, and ride like hell on Hwy 61. Motivate yourself by thinking about going back to the Chorus Line.

To sum up the day, left early got back at dark, put on over 400 miles and my ass was sore.

Day #3–Moline to LaCrosse, Iowa Side

This day is by far the highlight of the trip as you start making your way north on the Iowa side. Be sure to get an early start. You’ll have a lot of nice riding ahead of you.

Once you jump across the river on I-74, get off on the Great River Road (hwy 67), dust off the cobwebs and point that hog north. You’ll have some nice river time for awhile as you work your way up to Clinton. From this point you can get creative with some routes as you work your way up to Dubuque. Best bet is to get a local map, otherwise if you want some highway time, feel free to crack the throttle open and cruise up Hwy 52 or 61.

PAY ATTENTION! The key route is to get on C9Y which is north of Dubuque, lots of good twistys and lots of nice views as you go in and out and up and down the bluff country. When God made the motorcycle, this is where he did is test riding.

A great and historic stop is in Balltown. It has a great vista, which on a clear day they say you can see Illinois.

However, I’m sad to report that the oldest drinking and dining establishment in Iowa, historic Breitbach’s burned to the ground this winter, here’s a link I found with some memorable pictures http://www.kannimports.com/x_breitbach/breitbach_main.html

(I’m just glad I was lucky enough to see it once. It’s a good lesson for those who put off taking motorcycle rides… you just never know how long you or something else might be around, so do it while you can).

Anyway, great bluff county ride all the way to Millville, where you jump off and get some highway road north to Guttenburg. Jump off on X-56 north of town and make your way to McGregor which is just south of Prairie du Chien.

I would strongly recommend stopping at the historic lookout near Prairie in Pikes Peak State Park. It’s really cool and you can see the whole town of Prairie du Chien and where the Wisconsin River flows into the mighty Mississippi.

Following are some links with some cool pics:

http://www.sierravisionsstock.com/sierravisions/pictures-from-pikes-peak-state-park/

www.pbase.com/stanzman/image/35341961

After getting some blood back in our sore asses and legs (Pike’s Peak has a nice rest area) we cruised out on 76, which is a very cool ride along the river and through Effigy Mounds Park. Follow this north to X52 and it will take you to Harpers Ferry and then into Lansing.

Lansing is a nice little town to stop into and have a brew.

Next, you’ll want to hit 26 and bust ass north to the Minnesota border. This stretch is away from the river. Its a nice rural stretch with some good scenery and a few good sweeping curves.

26 will take you through New Albin and then into MN. The first part of the MN stretch is also away from the river and it goes through some flood plains and marshy areas, but its still somewhat cool. Once you get to Reno you’ll have really nice roads.

From then on all I could really think about was getting to LaCrosse and getting some beer in me…and I have to say, even though it was a Sunday night, I did accomplish that task.

Day #4–The Last Stretch (LaCrosse to St. Paul)

Well, there’s not much I can tell you about this stretch, but you have some options. You can either bust ass back on I-90 or Hwy 61 or you can wind your way back if you have some time and still have the energy.

Me, let’s just say I did the straight hwy 61 shot home in morning, as I had too many whiskey shots the night before. However, I do recommend breakfast at the Whistle Stop in the small town of Frontenac in between Red Wing and Lake City. Don’t blink, cuz you might miss it.

HOPE YOU ENJOYED READING ABOUT OUR TREK AND IT GIVES YOU SOME GOOD IDEAS FOR A RIDE. LATER.

The Famous Key West Sunset

After 4 months of Minnesota’s cold and snow it’s time to escape.   Here’s the skinny on my most recent winter exadous.  The trip included a ride from Miami to Key West, some interesting characters, and alot of pina coladas.    

The Story:  The girlfriend (aka. GF) and I woke up in Miami beach amongst a mob of blue haired crazies. We hopped in a cab to escape another round of shuffleboard and happily paid the driver $70 to drop us off at the hard to find Eagle Rider, Harley rental, of Miami. Once we shook off our nausea from the cab ride we were ready for Jorge (whore-hay) the manager to service us (and by service I mean fit us with beat-up helmets that we opted against wearing due to our foolish bravado). The bike rental process went smoothly and before we knew it we were cruise’n down the Miami interstates on a decked out Electraglide.  Not being accustom to the ammenities of a fullly loaded Electraglide, my GF raved about the throne-like passengers seat and we soon settled in for a sun drenched trip across the ocean.

The first thing we learned is that people on their way to Key West are not in ahurry, which was just fucking fine with us, especially becacuse we were mixing navigation with site seeing. The drive is only 150 miles but we somehow managed to spend an entire day getting from point A to point B. 

 Along the way we discovered that each of the Keys pretty much looks the same and they all have some kick-ass, shack-like bars along the side of the ocean. One of our favs was Hog Heaven where we made fast friends with a dude from Connecticut who was missing his front tooth and claimed to be an amateur porn star – we settled in for a few more beers and listened up.  The take home message from king dong was “don’t do porn – you’ll regret it…. and your girlfriends dad will find it on the internet and hold it against you”. Words to live by my friends. 

The drive to Key West is a series of bridges, the longest of which is 7 miles (I think). On this particular day the sun was out and the bridges were lined with dodgy fishermen and thier mothers. They all seemed like they had been through some career debackle and had now given up the smack and settled in to a life of liesure and happiness.

We met a few more locals on our way to Key West, including a tough chick who was quick to offer us a place to stay so long as we brought our own tent. Fearing a midnight rape, we opted out. 

We found that the locals are a laid back friendly crowd. You can’t help but get the feeling that some of them might have been considered a “little off” back in their days as working folks in the Midwest or New Jersey or wherever they migrated from. But in Key West their quirkiness makes them cool and they make you think that you are crazy for not chucking your ridiculously stressful life to belly up to a bar next to the ocean day in and day out. Believe me, they were convincing. We fantasized more than once about chucking life up in the Driftless Tundra and sharing a beach shack with the porn guy and his old lady (OK not really, but the beach life is hard to resist).

I’m going to rank this venture on two scales: On an overall trip and fun scale it ranks high – like a 9 out of 10. On a motorcycle ride, roads, and scenery scale it ranks lower – like a 5 out of 10. The reason for this is that the Keys are frick’n great. The sun, attractions, and nightlife are great. But the actual route and roads are slow, straight and really busy.

The trip is totally worth doing, but keep in mind that it’s less about riding and more about vacationing.